We were building our dream home....A task much more difficult than it sounds! Jeremy and I poured over books, magazines, and websites to compile our perfect, peaceful dwelling that would give our family a place to grow. There were loans to be approved, permits to pull, subcontractors to hire, oh and the little matter of a place to live while sorting out this new mountain of responsibilities. Our apartment lease was just about up, and wanting to save every last penny we took Jeremy’s mom and dad up on a generous and gracious offer to let us live with them, taking over the upstairs of their two story home. We thought it would be a few months before we closed on our house, however several months passed and we were still there, still occupying half their home, and they continued to be generous and gracious, and we continued to be grateful.
All this talk of building enough rooms for the kids we planned on having, had jump started a desire to get on with plan and have us a baby! The arrival of our first sweet niece, Kylie compounded this desire exponentially. I remember every chance we got we raced over to Aaron and Michelle’s to hold that baby. We would tell them to take a nap, go on a date, get some grocery shopping done - anything to hold that baby. I loved that child like she was my own! I couldn’t imagine loving another baby more than I loved her, but I was willing to try.
And try we did, yet month after month we were disappointed. The disappointment would turn into despair and desperation before too long. I would cry out to God, begging Him to grant us a child. I was charting my temperature, reading and trying anything I thought had any merit at all. April of 1999 rolled around, Kylie was a few months old, and my little brother, Jeff, was graduating from bible college in Tampa, FL. Aaron, Michelle, Kylie, Jeremy and I all headed out to celebrate Jeff’s great accomplishment - it had been 11 long months since we had decided to try to have a baby. I know that this may not sound like a terribly long time to some, but to me it was an eternity. It felt like everyone around me was getting pregnant and having beautiful babies, yet my belly and my arms continued to be empty.
It was in a parking lot of a grocery store late one evening that Jeremy and I surrendered our plans and desires to have children of our own into the hands of our caring Father. We felt we had three choices - give up entirely, seek out medical help, or hand it to God. It was hours of discussion and many tears to reach this decision, but peace descended when “Amen” was uttered. There was no booming voice from heaven, no prophecy given at church that Sunday, just an inner peace. There were still tears and disappointment co-existing with that peace that passes understanding.
We got back to Phoenix, climbed the stairs to our bedroom at the in-laws, went back to work, back to kidnapping Kylie, back to normal. Normal, normal, normal until I went to lunch at the Olive Garden with co-workers. I ordered my usual - all-you-can-eat soup, salad and breadsticks. I was laughing it up, enjoying down time with the girls - one salad and one soup down, second salad being enjoyed, Pasta Fagioli on it’s way, and a refreshed basket of hot breadsticks ready for the inhaling. ( I used to have very high metabolism!) The wonderful waitress set that second steaming bowl of soup in front of me, digging in, the first bite went down kind of funny. Huh, let’s try that again - nope this one isn’t going to make it to the tummy so, off to the bathroom I raced to spit it out. What on earth was happening here?!? I usually get three bowls in before my lunch hour is over - am I sick? - nope feel great, just can’t seem to eat anything. As a matter of fact, the sight and smell everyone else’s food made me feel a little green around the gills. Huh, odd....
I didn’t mention it when I got home that evening, because Jeremy had planned a mini vacation up to Prescott, AZ and a stay at the historic Hassayampa Inn for my birthday. I really didn’t feel sick, I just wasn’t able get down a spoonful of soup. On the way up, I started to obsess about the lunch thing, so I shared it with him and asked what he thought. We decided not to get our hopes up, that we would just enjoy our time and look into it when we got home. We had a wonderful weekend away from all our worries and cares, and delightfully, no more weird food things. However, a pregnancy test was never too far from my mind, so we picked a few up on the way home.
We got in, said our hellos, talked about staying in the Christmas Room - yes, the awesome too-kitschy-for-words Christmas Room - and got caught up with all the news then hurried upstairs to take our test. I did what I was suppose to, set the stick on the counter, went into the other room, and anxiously waited with my husband, together watching five minutes tick off the clock. Back to the bathroom we raced and what before our eyes did appear TWO PINK LINES!!! We were well acquainted with what a negative test looked like - this one was most definitely different!!! So....we took another one - yep same results!
The news of our little bean sprout spread quickly, and there was much rejoicing! Every time Jeremy and I would get up to lead worship at our church, I would pour myself out before God, so happy was my heart. Next step - what kind of human person was this? Oh joy, a boy! I had to get used to that idea, I put faith in what my lovely midwife, Connie said after the ultrasound - “Girls are for the daddies and boys are for the mommies.” Ten fingers, ten toes, everything looked perfect! Pregnancy was super other than morning sickness. I felt great and I loved being pregnant. A month before our little monkey was due we moved into one of Jeremy’s dad’s rentals as our house was not quite ready to move into. I worked up till two weeks before my due date. I had the need to nest but no home to nest in, so I instead moved boxes around our makeshift nursery. I checked checklists and checked them again. I put tons of pressure on my sweet husband to get that house done!
One evening, February 11th to be exact, after making a delicious dinner despite horrendous back pain, I plopped myself on the couch, armed with an ice pack and vowed not to move another muscle. It took a couple good hours of complaining till it dawned on us these complaints could be timed. We called our sweet midwife ready to head in to the birth center and get the show on the road. Connie calmed us down in the way she does and told us to call her back when everything got closer together. We ended up laboring at home that night and heading over to the birth center in the morning. Long story short, after a walk around the mall, a lovely breakfast, several long soaks in the birth center jacuzzi tub, I gave birth to our red-headed wonder - Liam Michael Dunn. Never in my life have a loved another person the way I loved him that moment I first laid eyes on him. Never in my life had I felt that very particular kind of joy. Never in my life had I felt more inadequate, unsure, or unprepared; yet short two hours later we were packed up and headed to our rental home full of boxes - the Dunn family now a threesome.
That entire next week I spent in a rocking chair gazing into the beautiful blue eyes of my gift from God. My Jeremy was frantically readying the house, a huge team compiled of family and friends by his side. Bless his heart, he got us in there, Liam being just one week old. Everything was new. We were beyond over-the-moon happy. We were also completely unaware that our roller coaster car had just about reached the top of it’s steep climb and we were teetering there. But for that time - ignorance was bliss.
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